The Pain of Life
by IWriteToSurvive
Summary: When The Battle of Hogwarts comes to an end, Hermione finds herself surrounded by red-headed Weasleys, all thanking her for saving Fred's life during the Battle. She looked around and only saw death and sadness. She longs for her parents. What happens when she knows her parents are in danger and she goes after them herself? Rated for future chapters. Please review. )


Chapter 1

Leaving

When the Battle of Hogwarts ended, many people could be seen crying. Eyes filled with tears of sorrow for loss, but also for joy of freedom. Despite the reasons she had to cry – the loss of Remus and Tonks and the near death of Fred Weasley to name a few – Hermione was not one to cry. She was one to hold it in. In fact, being surrounded by all this death and darkness in her favorite place in the world made her want escape so she could find light and love.

The moment Hermione stepped foot into the Great Hall after Voldemort's defeat, she was surrounded by a sea of red-haired Weasleys. Before she even knew what was happening, she was being engulfed in a bone-crushing hug from Mrs. Weasley.

"Thank you, Hermione," sobbed the matriarch. "My little Freddie wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you!"

"Mum," moaned the voice of Fred Weasley in embarrassment. "Let go of her before she suffocates!"

Mrs. Weasley released Hermione and held her face in her hands while offering her a soft smile as happy tears slid down her cheeks. One by one, all of the Weasleys approached Hermione and gave her soft hugs and pecks on her cheeks. They kept thanking her and every time they did, she became more distant. She didn't want this kind of attention. She wanted to escape.

"All right, everyone," said Fred. "Step aside so I can thank my Hero!"

Inwardly, Hermione cringed at the title. She didn't want to be a hero. She wanted to go back to being invisible. She wanted peace and quiet, solidarity, the comfort of books, but most of all, she wanted her parents.

Fred quickly made his way to Hermione as his family moved to the side. Without indecision, Fred engulfed Hermione in a hug that was much gentler than she had been expecting. After a moment's slight hesitation, Hermione wrapped her arms around Fred's middle and returned his hug. Until now, Hermione hadn't noticed how tall Fred was in comparison to herself, but she was immediately grateful for his height, as it hid her face from onlookers. This came to her advantage the moment Fred spoke gently into her ear.

"Thank you so much, Hermione," he whispered. "I can't thank you enough. I wouldn't still be here with my family if it weren't for you."

Tears instantly sprang to her eyes and began to fall down her cheeks. He held her there for a good long while, swaying slightly. Hermione kept silent and only nodded when he thanked her. She didn't trust her voice not to betray her tears. When Fred finally released her, he placed a soft kiss of her cheek, stopping a tear in its tracks.

Quickly, Fred pulled away and observed her with a look of confusion on his face. "Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked with concern as held onto her shoulders.

She kept silent, her eyes holding a far-away look in them as tears continued to fall.

Growing more and more concerned at her silence, Fred placed his hands on either side of her face, brushing away stray tears with his thumbs. "Hermione, what is it? What's wrong?" he repeated.

At this, Hermione's focus returned and she blinked a few times. Slowly, she reached up and took Fred's wrists in her hands, carefully pulling them away from her face. Hermione wasn't sure she could speak, so she shook her head instead, indicating she was fine. Fred obviously didn't believe her because he quickly grabbed her hands in his before she could release his wrists and squeezed them, gently as if to say he was there for her.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

Hermione took one of her hands from Fred's grasp and touched her cheek gingerly. She was surprised when her fingertips meet so many tear tracks. She hadn't realized that she had been crying so profusely. Not really knowing what to say, Hermione looked up into Fred's shockingly green eyes and, in turn, looked at each of the Weasleys and Harry. They all looked at her with concern and she couldn't help but notice how they all held each other in a way that only a family could. Her heart ached even more for her parents.

She reached into her pocket and withdrew her tiny beaded bag that she had taken with them on their travels. Fred released her other hand and began to stare at her quizzically, along with all the others. Without thinking twice, Hermione began to dig through the bag, searching with earnest. Frantically, she plunged her entire arm into the bag, searching for an object she knew would be at the bottom.

Harry slowly made his way up to her and questioned her actions. "Hermione, what are you looking for?"

With a slight glance up, Hermione looked at him and shook her head and ignored him, continuing her search. She noticed the many raised eyebrows from the Weasleys at the sight of her entire arm disappearing into the tiny bag, but she paid them no mind. She was too focused on her goal.

It didn't take long for Hermione's hand to brush against cool metal and she instantly curled her fingers around the object and pulled it from its hiding spot. Hermione held the object close. Everyone could see what appeared to be an ordinary, gold pocket watch.

"What is that, Hermione?" Harry asked with his brows furrowed. In their near year of being on the run, he had never once seen the object before.

Again, Hermione didn't answer. In fact, she hadn't heard his question at all. Gingerly, Hermione dug her fingernails into the watch's groove and opened it. She held it up to her line of vision and gazed at the tiny moving hands of the clock face. Hermione had enchanted this particular watch so it only opened for her. In many ways, the tiny gold watch was a miniature version of Mrs. Weasley's family clock. The only difference being that the names on the three hands were of her and her parents. For months Hermione's hand on the watch hadn't moved from its position on "Mortal Peril." Now, she noticed, her hand was firmly on "School." Whenever she had the chance during their travels she would take out the watch, which used to be her father's, and observer her mother and father's hands as they moved around the clock face. Mostly, their hands only rotated between, "Work," "Home," and "Traveling," so, Hermione panicked when she looked at their hand now and saw them jump to "Mortal Peril."

Hermione's hands began to shake violently and her eyes widened. Everyone noticed the sudden change in her and began to worry even more.

"Hermione, dear, what is it?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"What's wrong?" asked Harry and Ron in unison, both of their expressions scared and worried.

Her head snapped up at their words and she was suddenly aware of everyone staring at her. "Hermione, what is that in your hand?" questioned Ron as he reached a hand out to grab the watch.

On instinct, she jerked her hand out of Ron's reach and snapped the watch closed. Hermione took a step back and lowered her head, clutching the watch to her chest with an iron grip, her knuckles turning white.

Ron froze in his tracks, shocked by her sudden movements. Everyone exchanged worried looks and were debating what to do next when Hermione spoke for the first time since the battle ended.

"I have to go," she said in a voice just above a whisper. She spoke so quietly they thought she might not have spoken at all.

"What did you say, dear?" said Mrs. Weasley as she clutched at her husband's arm, clearly worried for her "adoptive daughter."

Hermione looked up at them all in turn, her gaze lingering for a moment or two longer on Fred than anyone else. As a fresh wave of tears spilled from her eyes, she spoke a little louder, her voice cracking slightly from the ache in her heart for having to leave her second family.

"I – I have to go," she repeated, taking another step back as the Weasleys all took a collective step towards her. She knew they would try to stop her but she also knew that she couldn't allow them to change her mind. She had to find her parents. She had to find them, to save them from whatever danger they were now in. She had to go. Now.

Without another word Hermione turned away from the Weaselys and stole one more, quick look at the closed watch in her hands before taking off, running at full speed from the Great Hall.

Most of the Weasleys were in shock at her actions and stood rooted to the spot, but Fred immediately took off after her, closely followed by Harry. He wasn't sure what compelled him to chase after her. Maybe it was because she was his hero, Maybe it was his old crush, resurfacing. Or maybe it was the horrible feeling he got in the pit of his stomach the moment she declared she had to leave. Either way, Fred knew he had to go after her, so he could do everything in his power to stop her from disappearing. Again.

"Hermione!" Fred shouted as soon as he caught sight of her heading across the castle's front lawn. He was shocked at how far ahead she was and sprinted as fast as he could to catch up to her. She didn't even look when he called her name. He wasn't even sure she heard him.

Hermione ran as fast as she could from the castle. Being on the run for nearly a year, she'd become quite the runner and was soon half-way across the lawn, heading for the nearest Apparition point. She knew people would chase after her, most likely Harry and Ron, that's why she ran so fast. She wasn't going to let them talk her out of leaving and she refused to let them come with her and risk their lives yet again. This was something she had to do on her own. She finally knew exactly how Harry felt when she and Ron insisted on going with him to hunt the Horcruxes.

"Hermione, wait!" came a shout from behind her. She was surprised when she recognized Fred's voice. She hadn't expected him to follow her. Her heart lurched at the thought of Fred catching her or insisting on going with her. If there was one person Hermione refused to risk, it was Fred. Not that she could ever admit that out loud.

It was because of this that she picked up her pace. She couldn't risk him catching up to her and stopping her from Apparating.

"Hermione!" shouted another voice she recognized as Harry's.

Finally, she reached the iron gates that led to Hogsmead Station, forcing them open roughly. Fred and Harry were catching up to her. She could sense them getting closer and she was just about ready to Apparate away when she thought better of it. Instead she waited for the two boys to catch up.

"Her…my…nee!" Harry said while panting and clutching a stitch in his chest. "Where – are – you – going?"

Hesitating, Hermione answered him carefully. "There's something I have to do, Harry."

"I'll come with you," he said.

"No," she said firmly. "I'm going alone."

"Hermione, it's dangerous out there!" said Fred indignantly.

"I know that, Fred. Harry died today and then went on to defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time. I'm not risking his life again when he deserves to live more than any of us."

Harry shook his head. "Hermione, I'm not letting you go wherever it is you're going alone."

"I'm not giving you a choice, Harry."

"Stop this, Granger. You're being unreasonable," said Fred, slightly angry. "You saved my life in there. I'm not letting you go off on your own. You might not need protecting but I'm sure as hell going to try. You don't want to let Harry go with you, fine, but I am going with you whether you like it or not. You saved my life. The least I can do is make sure you don't lose yours."

Somewhat shocked and touched by Fred's words, Hermione nearly faltered in her resolve to go to Australia alone. She couldn't deny that it would be better to travel with a companion but after everything she had witnessed in the battle, she wasn't willing to risk putting someone in that kind of danger again.

Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, Fred. I'm sorry but I'm not letting either of you come with me. Harry barely escaped permanent death and your family almost lost you. I almost lost both of you today and I'm not willing to take that chance again. I'm sorry," she said before quickly taking a step back and turning on the spot, Apparating away and leaving the two boys behind.


End file.
